Confessions of an Elfin Goddess

But the best is yet to come...

2011-12-30T20:21:00.000Z

(Will add backdated C'mas posts. I'm having....uh...technical difficulties. With photos.)

Right.

So I'm sitting about in my jams. I've been in them all day.
There's something oddly rewarding about staying snuggled under your duvet while it's rubbish weather outside, it's (almost) officially the end of the year, and you know you're about to reach the finish line on a deadline that's been weighing you down for like forever. (I've always wanted to say 'for like forever'.)

What have I accomplished this year? This is my humble effort at propelling my life forward...
New home in new city (in new country)
New job
New colleagues
New found love (for tea, now bordering at 7 cups a day)
New friends (who sometimes remind me they're not my friends, bah humbug bother etc)
New experiences -- music festivals, endless long days, endless short days (eep)
New vocabulary -- sweet FA (a very proper nice English boy taught me this one), ta ra, chuffed, well pleased etc etc
New (acquired/not authentic) accent (this is really my most favourite part of this new life)
Discovering the joys of Earl Grey, hot chocolate, nippy toes, real Christmas trees, daffodils, lying in the grass on a summer day, green spaces, dandelions, happy dogs, chimneys, thigh high boots, apple pie, cumberland sausages, chips (formerly known as fries to this EG), guinness

What I'm especially grateful for has been all the conversations I've had this year. Some long overdue. Some refreshingly surprising. Some painful. Some just plain ol' goodbyes. And others that ended in hugs. (Unexpected hugs. Hugs that make you wanna go back and hit the person that hugged you and then hug them again.)

And so (this is probably gonna be real repetitive, but Ima gonna say it anyways)...
Thoughts become things.
Impossible is nothing.
Good things come to those who wait.
And love is always around the corner.

Goodbye 2011. You've been absolutely divine.

Life's New Theme Song

2011-12-12T03:30:00.000Z

Words of reassurance
But only if they're true
Just some simple kindness
No vengeance from the Gods
This is all I ever wanted from life...

Growing Pains

2011-12-11T20:10:00.002Z

At 31, I'm only just learning that...

Kindness can hurt sometimes

Shutting out the mind leaves space for slivers of peace to come through

The people you love the most are sometimes incapable of loving you for who you are

The people you think of as friends do not always get you. And they don't have to

Gratitude fuels the manifestation of dreams

Your edge can attract the attentions of others. But flattery is a two-way street

It is ok to take a solo break

And love is always, ALWAYS around the bend.

The mother of all updates

2011-12-10T21:12:00.004Z

And guess what.
I'm back.
Again.
Bad EG, bad bad EG.

This is an update from October 2010: Just moved to England. With over a 100kgs of baggage. No jobs, no home, nothing. But hope and the generosity of friends. Oh and a 'thought' that's about to manifest as a 'thing'.

Update from December 2010: Just landed job at web's largest retailer. Surreal. (Really???)

Update from January 2011: New home, new city, new job. All in my first 2 days at work. What can I say...I love melodrama.

--Going to work in the darkness. Returning from work in the darkness. Wha...???

Update from May 2011: Lost close friend. Trying to stay afloat (and failing miserably)

Update from June 2011: High-five Train's Pat Monahan at Hyde Park. At the 40th Hard Rock Calling gig. Watch Stevie Nicks, Rumer, Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood, Lighthouse Family, Mike & the Mechanics, Barenaked Ladies. Brain is slowly comprehending....thoughts are becoming things.

Also....days that start bright and early at 5am and end beyond 8pm. More wha...???

Update from July 2011: Have new 'friends'. Just landed permanent role at web's largest retailer. Finally getting 'impossible is nothing'.

Update from August 2011: Lose music festival virginity status. Watch Beady Eye, 30 Seconds to Mars, Panic at the Disco, 2 Door Cinema Club, Muse, My Chemical Romance, Vaccines, NOAH AND THE WHALE. Brimming with gratitude. In awe of my God.

Update from September 2011: Back home (minus my man) for holiday. Lose grandmom. Calm. Back to (un)reality.

Head back to England and work. 4 days later. Full-blown anxiety attack. Also, the beginnings of a dim realisation. Far, far, FAR away from family, friends and the only people who love you when you're a mess. Loneliness is a proper fucking slap in the face.

October 2011: Not loving the onset of 31. Mastering the art of pretense. And fake smiles.

To date: Coping while having successfully shut the rest of the world out. Still waiting to trust. Still weary of those who understand the need for me to be surreal, unstable, weird. Still waiting to be beyond pain and to well and truly step into the light.

Still in love with...
Chai, scotch, chorisaan, Goan fish curry, spice in my food, the sun on my skins, hugs

Falling in love with...
Rain (that's not really rain), scones, cider, British summer, AUTUMN(!!!), flannel pyjamas

Learning to love...
English formality, oscillating weather, mushy peas

It's a strange new world. All over again.

The return of the elfin goddess

2011-06-12T22:47:00.003+01:00

So here I am. A whole year later.
I've crept towards this space and retreated more times than I can count.

Too much has changed.
And I'm happy to report, all for the better.

It would be a severe understatement to say there are stories to share, secrets to spill and banter to bother you with.

Here to stay.
EG

Spiffying up the Mid-Week

2010-07-01T08:56:00.007+01:00

If you follow my blog, you'll know that I (grudgingly) spend anywhere between 10-12 hours of the day home alone. Working, but still home alone. While it is a conscious decision to stay home & indulge in domestic bliss while running a successful home business, I am prone to grumbling about my state of solitude. It remains a thorn in my side (melodramatically speaking).

Hang on, this post wasn't about me. Right, back on track then.
My husband too, the gorgeous J or Ja, also dislikes spending so much time away from me. See, in this city, it's not so much about work that gets to you, but the culture of work - we're expected to work a min 10 hours a day, alternate Saturdays are full working days, and commuting to & from work in itself is the pits. Now add to that dwindling or negligible family/personal time and you've put yourself in line to be a first-class stressed out loon.

The past 10 days or so have been taking a toll on us. J's office has a new project in the pipeline, which translates into working from home on the weekends too. Yuck. Then me had a lightbulb moment - how about if we just NOT crib about this paucity of time, and instead just ENJOY the time we have together. How's it working out? Perfectly!

Last night, we had ourselves a little picnic dinner in our living room - ham & cheese sandwiches for main course, chocolate ice cream for dessert. J picked juice, I settled for SoCo & my favourite bean bag. There was something peaceful about talking & laughing & listening to (internet) radio & guessing songs and bands & twinkling fairy lights.

This is as good as it gets!

Babies

2010-06-26T18:00:00.002+01:00

OK so Im one Jack down, fiddling with the thought of another.
Im not drunk (yet), so I might as well put out there a wish I hold in my heart.

A child.
Our child.
A tiny wee one. To love & hold. To giggle with. Run around in the grass with.
Marvel at his/her tiny fingers & toes. And his/her big dreams & tall tales.

One day...

Life's Simple Pleasures

2010-06-25T15:00:00.003+01:00

Today a friend's Facebook tag posed a simple question - what are your life's necessities?
My answer came quick! Rain, chorisaan (Goan spicy sausage), and cake!
So simple!

Potato Dill Biscuits

2010-06-24T06:26:00.003+01:00

At tea time, I make an absolute (hungry) pig of myself!
I have rather large snack boxes stuffed with all kinds of stuff that can only be called junk.
Everyday I resolve to start anew (translation: eat healthier) but never drum up enough energy to do anything about it.

But there is a God in Heaven and the Universe listens....so I found myself to this Dill & Potato Biscuit Recipe
The name intrigued me enough to read thru'. When the article mentioned how this was supposed to be the antidote to unhealthy tea time cravings, I thought I really have no more excuses. The Saturday morning baking schedule is good!

Oh yea!

2010-06-22T08:41:00.001+01:00

Avril, not even I know how a dream will come true, until it does.

But if you just keep showing up, they always do.

Big-Love-Hug,
The Universe

How to comprehend the joy (and nervous anxiety) of a New Adventure

2010-06-18T09:01:00.004+01:00

Honestly, that title should read as a question not a (knowing) statement.
For I am fraught with both, joy and anxiety, on embarking on yet another new road!

Some days I veer toward either extreme. Some days I find myself indulging in a seamless blend of both.

How can I begin to explain that when life seems hopeless, the dream dead, and the future uncertain, that God/Universe/ Other will slowly but surely show you the way ahead? This is not a new age philosophy or an epiphany experienced in a state of scotch-fueled bliss. This is indeed what's happened.
Showing up & showing faith really really WORKS.
Thoughts become things, yes dear, they DO.

So hang on, dream, believe even if everyone thinks you're stark raving mad to believe the impossible. Only GOOD can come out of it! ;)

The Return of the Elfin Goddess

2010-06-13T07:46:00.008+01:00

I've deliberately stayed away from this space.
Truth is that after a long day of writing and proofing and copy checks, lately I've been finding it hard to bring myself to 'write' some more.

So all I've done in the 2 months that I've been back from what was a FANTASTIC HOLIDAY, is trawl all my favourite peeps and bask in that warm gooey feeling that follows a dose of healthy blog-reading.

In the past 2 months I've made a few discoveries...
# There is such a place as Heaven on earth. If you don't believe me, take a trip to Koh Samui in Thailand.
# Aspirational Regret. The feeling that one would like to ignore but has hit one smack in the face. After arriving at a much-awaited destination. Metaphorically.
# I wish Id watched Monk more often! The final season was super!
# Telly has suddenly become my new favourite mindless activity (after dish-washing and de-cluttering). Night-time telly is my 'out'. Psych, Castle, 30 Rock, The Simpsons...
# TV Boyfriend is now plural. Enter Nathan Fillion.
# 'Maybe' has been given up in favour of NO.

And lastly, something strange has happened. In a good sort of way. Who am I kidding? In a FABULOUS sort of way! I've learned that letting go is the only way to move on. How many times have I heard that and pretended that I was, but wasnt! But I did. And I asked the Lord for all the strength He could give me to make the deliberate choice of letting go. When I did, I discovered that there is always a way forward. When the drama is gone, the plot really unfolds.

At this very moment, as I write this, I am acutely aware of how much has changed in a matter of a few weeks. And of how it has all happened when I let go and let GOD :)

It's a gorgeous, grey morning all over again!

This is it!!

2010-04-10T13:17:00.001+01:00

Our bags are packed.
And TONIGHT's gonna be a good night!
'Cos after 2 years of waiting and watching and dreaming and pining and sometimes whining, we are FINALLY going on a much-awaited holiday!!!!

More updates from this happy elfin girl's trip!
Leaving on a Jet plane...

40 Days of Happiness - Day 36 - Gratitude List

2010-03-24T06:25:00.011Z

Time to be thankful & count some of the many blessings I've received! :)
1. Time off! A period of rest to clear out the mind and prepare for whatever is next.
2. A travel plan! YAY!
3. Ja.
4. Koo's little monkey face and adorable smiles
5. Friends
6. Twitter - my outlet to the outside world!
7. Amazing wi-fi at home! This is vital to working from home & connecting with friends & family.
8. Pretty letter paper
9. Pretty note cards
10. Blogs...especially food blogs!
11. Cookies
12. Dark chocolate
13. Airplane tickets
14. Fresh flowers
15. Lemonade
16. An unexpected email/ text
17. Connecting with an old friend after ages :)
18. Pencils
19. Sepia toned sunglasses
20. Water!!!!!!!
21. Scented Candles
22. Fairy lights
23. Bamboo
24. Chirping birds in our garden
25. Guavas on the tree!
26. Long distance chats with my dad :)
27. Fish curry - yay!
28. Anderson Cooper. Oh yea. :P
29. Watching TCM late into the night
30. Chai!

This list is definitely longer, but time permits this for now! :D

What You Are Seeking is Also Seeking You

2010-03-24T06:22:00.002Z

I found this quote via Paolo Coelho's Twitter feed. So I looked it up and found this amazing article.
What You Are Seeking is Also Seeking You

Posted using ShareThis

I love the last part and that's all Im going to do today...
Relax
Trust
Ask
Open/ Believe
Receive!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 34

2010-03-22T11:44:00.001Z

Happiness is finally arriving at that point when you know you're actually going to give your mind, body & soul a rest! In short, vacation coming up soon!

Merci JC!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 31

2010-03-19T12:41:00.007Z

Its been 2 years today!
Two years since we embarked on our last trip!
Yikes, you say. Here's my cause for happiness...
For two years I've pretended that the life I want to live is already mine. That the people I want to meet are already friends, conversations have already been had, secrets already shared. That the happiness I thought I would experience 'if' I was somewhere or someone or doing something else, is already mine. I have seen it, touched it, felt its peace, and savoured its every aroma.
Two years later I have learned that the greatest gift of life is NOW and if I purposefully craft my 'now', I will most certainly rejoice in the manifestation of the future.
Often, the dark side of me will embrace me in too tight a hug & leave me empty, with a feeling that the dream is dead. But His light will always shine thru' & bring me to my senses, reminding me that 2 years ago all we saw and did and loved...was nothing short of a miracle!

I was clearing up my mail & I found a Note from the Universe that read "...show up and expect a miracle." These days the Scriptures say the same thing to me. And truth be told, I am waiting for that miracle. Not in a what-if way, but in a all-things-are-possible way.

2 years. Wow!

2010-03-19T05:47:00.000Z

If you need reassurance...here it is!

Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment.

Matthew 9:22

40 Days of Happiness - Day 30

2010-03-18T12:02:00.002Z

I'm reading this book called The Battle Belongs to the Lord by Joyce Meyer - its very nice & she talks about the power Praise & Worship and how it gives us our deliverance. In one specific chapter she gave a couple of real-life examples of how in a difficult situation the Holy Spirit had prompted her to "sing". She goes on to explain that in trials the Lord will give us songs of deliverance & we will be saved! :)

So on Monday, when dealing a sitn that causes me immense anxiety and panic, I prayed for the Lord to show me a Bible verse that would help me get thru'. After a while I suddenly started singing the hymn "You shall go out with joy and be led forth with peace..." And J started humming along with me too. I thought hard about when I'd learnt this hymn - still drawing a blank.

So, yesterday morning I googled the words to find the whole hymn - that led me to the Bible verse on which it is based.

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. ~ Isaiah 55:12

I was very excited! So I looked up the verse for an explanation on a site called ChristNotes and the text below in blue is what I saw...imagine my excitement!!!

Therefore — Ye shall be released from your bondage.

Peace — Safely and triumphantly.

Clap — There shall be a general rejoicing, so that even the senseless creatures shall seem to rejoice with you.

The Lord blessed me with a song of deliverance!!!!! This afternoon, after praying the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy, I prayed to 'hear' from the Lord & randomly opened my Bible. Guess where it opened?? To the exact page of this verse!!! :D

Merci JC!!!

Oops I did it again!

2010-03-18T08:56:00.007Z

You know what bothers me?
Being wrong. Making a mistake.
And I dont mean that in a Im-so-smug-about-my-smartness sort of way.
When Im wrong or make a mistake, I feel like shit. Really.
Then I obsess about it endlessly. Not a smart thing to do is it.

However, lately I've been trying to stay focused on well...staying focused. My personal experience is that when my mind tends to wander, mistakes happen. So to avert the avoidable, its better to take a step back and begin with Step 1.

Step 2: Don't be impatient with people, no matter how hard they're stepping on your very last nerve. This angst only clouds focus.

Step 3: No beating oneself up. This gets you nowhere! Except down.

Moral of the story : Acknowledge a mistake, learn from it, focus, stay calm & smile! :D

40 Days of Happiness - Day 28

2010-03-16T07:18:00.002Z

Happiness is going out for...
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
.......
.......Coffee!! Ahh...feels good to get it off my chest!
This blog isn't called Confessions of an Elfin Goddess for nothing, you know!
I discovered Irish Coffee (I usually settle for a cappuccino or an Americano)...but something about "flavour of whiskey" in the description screamed "Avril...you have found the coffee you've been dreaming of". Smart little description! While I settled for the whiskey/ caramel/coffee delight, J settled for Iced Tea. (Which, I might add, he didnt fancy, after taking a sip of my fabulously fab Irish Coffee!) I'm thinking with all the catching up I've gotta do this weekend, I've got the perfect excuse to snuggle up some more with IC! Ho yum!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 27

2010-03-15T13:24:00.000Z

Today, happiness is knowing I am not alone.
Something difficult happened; being a firm believer in the Lord & all His miraculous ways...I took a deep breath, stuffed the ear-phones of my mp3 player quickly into my ears (its loaded with Praise & Worship music) & called on Him.

And then He sent someone else to take care of the situation for me. I didn't have to face it at all!
I don't like panic & I cant stand fear. So on a day such as this - I know my Comforter abides in me!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 25

2010-03-13T07:39:00.002Z

The best resolution I made this Lent was to stay off Facebook & avoid other time-consuming but not mind-enriching activities online. And thus, I found myself in the company of old friends - books! I've been a reader since I was 5 years old - Enid Blyton being my favourite childhood author!

Here's what I'm currently reading....

1) Joyce Meyer's "The Battle Belongs to the Lord"
I'm glued to it & have been practicing many of the things she suggests in my life of worship. And the results have been amazing!

1) Eckhart Tolle's "Practicing the Power of Now"
Picked this book up a week ago. I'm always grateful for how the Lord/ the Universe responds by sending you wisdom exactly at the moment you need it! :)

3) Chicken Soup for the Tea Lover's Soul
I haven't got past the Foreword yet but it is my delusional belief that this book was written just for me!

(yes,

40 Days of Happiness - Day 24

2010-03-12T08:52:00.004Z

I was sitting here waiting for some inspiration on this post, when I learned that my coffee date with a friend stands cancelled tomorrow.
Here's the thing - over the past 5 years I've successfully lost all the friends I had. The few I have I see sporadically b'cos...well everyone is busy. When the occasion for such an encounter is on the horizon, I feel, as you can imagine, unbelievably happy. I've always had more male friends than female - and somehow this is oddly comforting to me. Make of it what you will...but platonic works beautifully for me. Seriously.
So what do I miss most about this lack of social contact? Hugs.
And that's what this post is about. Hugs.
I LOVE hugs! A hug, I think, is the singular most special gesture of friendship. Some are tight hugs, some are quick hugs, some are those weird lets-not-touch bodies hugs (!!) but hugs are hugs!
A hug has this odd quality about it - no matter what kind it is, it leaves you feeling wanted & warm & fuzzy & blissful. It bonds you tighter with the other, and makes you want to come back for more. But hugs from friends are few and far in between for me, which makes the next hug something to look forward to.
I am a hug person!

And this is exactly how I feel right NOW!

2010-03-11T09:34:00.001Z

It's working, Avril! Every day you're getting closer! Everything you've ever wanted is being pressed toward you. Everything is clicking. Don't let the illusions trick you. Don't let the events of today dampen your spirits. Things couldn't be any better than they now are. You couldn't have more reasons to celebrate. Now! Do it! The hardest work is done! Just show up, be present, open every door and let events unfold. Life is your stage. This is your parade. Together we can do anything.

I love it when you're hot,
The Universe

40 Days of Happiness - Day 23

2010-03-11T07:52:00.002Z

Today Im super kicked!
A nearby church is hosting an Inner Healing Retreat starting today for three evenings!
I've been wanted to get some extra prayer time & some reflection time & Im sooooo HAPPY that this is finally happening. Plus, I think I am in desperate need of some spiritual "detox", so there!

Im literally having a happiness high. God is good all the time!
And deliverance is ours!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 22

2010-03-10T07:39:00.000Z

Here's the thing - I cant wait to be a mom! But until such a time arrives for us, we are more than happy to channel our parental instincts through our little boy, Koo.

Koo is what we lovingly call our favouritest 4 year old - Ja's nephew & our god-child. Ever since Koo set foot in our world, we think of him as an extension of our tiny family. On some days its J & me. On many others, Koo completes the equation. The three of us enjoy play time & stories & the occasional laughs at Mr. Bean on telly. But what we love most is talking to the boy. His adorable smile, that look he has when he's thinking, the sparkle when you know mischief is around the corner, his amazing sense of humour & wit, and his simple, innocent love & affection for us. It completes our day & fills us with a deep sense of peace. There is something absolutely beautiful in the love of a child. And I thank Him for blessing us with this beautiful boy!

PS: Koo & me have cookie-baking date this weekend. Chocolate crackle-tops it is!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 21

2010-03-09T07:17:00.000Z

I've begun to create little rituals for myself. In a crazy busy day, these tiny little details add hope & joy & peace. Allow me to illustrate....

Every morning I need an additional cuppa cha (!). My first is usually had hurriedly with J as he leaves for work. This second cuppa is had sitting quietly in one place, thinking about nothing much & taking in the aroma of the masala chai. As I sip it slowly I feel all my tension & worries giving way to calm.

Come evenings, I need to slow down & unwind. One thing that can instantly do this for me is dim lighting. I love the glow of fairy lights & candles. Post Christmas Ja and me were left with a ton of fairy lights - so we DIY-ed ourselves a lamp using dried bamboo branches from our tree & an old porcelain pickle jar (which is not visible in the picture below). While the image below does absolutely no justice to what a delightful project it turned out to be - let me just say this - its BEAUTIFUL & sparkly & "us" :)

It gives me great joy every evening to turn on the lights & switch off my mind. Shiny happy elfin girl!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 20

2010-03-08T07:12:00.003Z

Women's Day!
Well I feel pretty pleased to be a girl! So much joy!
More such joy was experienced when the husband unexpectedly decided to take the day off - was feeling a tad under the weather. We made it to church for evening Mass & we ordered dinner & settled down to watch the repeat telecast of the Academy Awards. Meryl Streep didnt win :( :(

No I didn't get a pressie, but an additional day with the boy is bliss!

2010-03-07T07:08:00.002Z

Loved these lines from a movie I came across when flipping channels - I think it was called Ed Wood (with Johnny Depp). Depp's character has a chance meeting with director Orson Welles who tells him...

"Visions are worth fighting for. Why spend your life making someone else's dreams?"

40 Days of Happiness - Day 19

2010-03-07T07:00:00.002Z

Today, happiness is spending a single-day weekend with my beloved.
We have gotten too busy over this past year. Living in a city as ours makes it tough to have free time or family time or time to do anything. We're always rushing - to work, between deadlines, barraged by incessant calls at odd hours, interrupted at meal times...

I know that some people have it way tougher than we do, so Im not going to dwell on my "dirty pain". And so it suffices to say that I would love to have more time spent together & less time in traffic :)

We love our weekends - most often than not, these days too are filled with chores & things-we-must-do. But we ensure we've carved off some time to do something we love together. Like heading out to a movie or having coffee or meeting friends or even a late-night dessert date at a fancy restaurant (something about Tiramisu at midnight tickles me purple!).

Time is precious & so making these moments special & adding value to them becomes imperative. We try to leave out work-related topics from this time. Or one of us will just listen as the other discusses what is really going on at work etc.

I've never appreciated my time with J more than when I started feeling like I hardly have enough time with him! It has made me want to do more like cook his favourite meals, or try a recipe he will enjoy, or craft & watch as his face lights up :)

Happiness is a stolen moment :)

40 Days of Happiness - Day 18

2010-03-06T10:52:00.004Z

Happiness is chancing upon wisdom at the right time...Bible verses, Notes from the Universe, Paolo Coelho....

Today it's this gem from author of Lead Without A Title, Robin Sharma...

Leaders Without a Title avoid The 4 Deadly Toxins: 1. Negativity 2.Gossip 3. Criticism 4. Complaint.

~ Robin Sharma, Twitter

Follow Robin Sharma here!

PS: I need to detox right away! ;)

40 Days of Happiness - Day 17

2010-03-05T12:48:00.005Z

After falling off the blogging bandwagon yet again thanks to my erratic schedule...Im back & how.
All previous Happiness Project posts are now UPDATED! So go ahead & enjoy them & tell me what you think :D

Today, I got into yet another one-sided argument with J on that vacation that Im told will not happen. I've been told for the umpteenth time that I may take a holiday if I please, but unfortunately such a journey may have to be taken seule.

While that pissed me off for a whole hour - which honestly is too much time to waste on a futile topic - I quickly perked & made this list of places I would possibly love to see on a 2-3 week vacation :) In random order...
#Vietnam & Thailand
#Malaysia & Singapore
#Egypt & Dubai
#Greece & Turkey

:D Excited!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 16

2010-03-04T07:37:00.003Z

Of the few things that make me infinitely happy & make me feel like Im a different person, baking is right up there! 2010 will be incomplete without a proper Bakery course :)

Here's a slice of carrot marzipan cake I bought at a gourmet food store. It looked amazing but tasted ugggh. I paid a ton for it and didn't enjoy a single spoonful. However, that cute marzipan carrot on top begged for a picture.

The strangest co-incidence has been watching Julie & Julia and It's Complicated in the past couple of weeks - both movies about cooking/ baking. I thought to meself, "The Universe is really saying something to me here. Off to Bakery school, we must go!"

40 Days of Happiness - Day 15

2010-03-03T07:31:00.000Z

Happiness is taking baby steps in the right direction...with these red Chinese slippers :D
Picked these in Singapore a couple of years ago (3 pairs for $10SGD!). They remind me of my dreams & that "thoughts becomes things".

40 Days of Happiness - Day 14

2010-03-02T12:21:00.000Z

A great way to stay happy is to eat healthy.
The right kinds of foods release the right kind of feel-good thing-things in your body.
(If all else fails, head for the nearest bar of dark chocolate. It's rarely failed, far as Im concerned :P)
Given Ja's worrying weight loss sans exercise, the doc has ordered him on a high-protein diet. So we pulled our socks up & hopped to it. One of the things I've discovered I love are the generous portions of fruit :D

Yesterday I enjoyed a large, and I mean LARGE portion of watermelon...YUMMMY!

And a week back, I took a picture of lunch. As you can see - chicken burger sandwich, left, large bowl of 'ras malai' (Indian sweet dish made with cottage cheese & flavoured milk) with grapes & strawberries at right!!!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 13

2010-03-01T07:27:00.000Z

We're blessed to have our own little house in Mumbai that's surrounded by a little garden.
With the bamboo, almond, guava & such flourishing, we've been attracting all types of feathered friends. The parrots/ parakeets favour the guava tree. But the bamboo has been attracting what seem to be White-browed Fantails. They come visit me during the day, fluttering about in the bamboo canopy outside our kitchen window. I love them so! They announce their presence with this peculiar whistle that is melodious and oh-so-loud! Absolute love!

So imagine my surprise at meeting my mom's own feathered friends - the bulbuls. My mum's also fond of the little guys & they show up everyday to nibble at the food tit-bits she puts out for them. Here is one, sitting on mum's kitchen window chirping away, pleased with himself!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 12

2010-02-28T10:22:00.002Z

Goan Fish Curry.
Plain & simple.
Comfort food.
On a rainy day, a sunny day, any day!
And that's all we're having on the menu this weekend at 'home'!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 11

2010-02-27T10:05:00.000Z

Woke up bright & early at 'home'!
Lay in bed as I heard mom & dad chatting over things, making breakfast in the kitchen. Reminded me of days long ago, when we all lived under one roof. That really was a long, long time ago.

Felt peaceful, anchored, loved.
Just being around family changes so much.

40 Days of Happiness - Fast forward, it's Day 10!

2010-02-26T06:11:00.003Z

Have been tons busy, which is why the Happiness Project has suffered a backlog...but I'll be sure to post updates on all the missing days soon, after consulting the detailed notes I've been taking in my journal :)

We're off this evening to enjoy a long 3 day weekend with my parents! So excited. Happiness is enjoying your family, b'cos no matter how difficult they can be, they will always love you!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 9

2010-02-25T10:00:00.003Z

Work.
Today work's put me on a happy high.
For all the happiness I've been staying on, I've had a really tough situation to deal with. Some people turn to alcohol, some to potato crisps, some to sedatives...I turn to work.

And Im blessed to that I love what I do! So off I headed to a client's office & spent the day working out of there, hanging out with the girls, downing awfully strong ginger chai at the pantry...and generally staying afloat & happy!
Thank God for work!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 8

2010-02-24T09:49:00.003Z

Today's post may border on frivolity but bear with me while I explain why 'material pleasures' can sometimes make me happy. Pictured above is my latest acquisition - a white Sony Vaio - perfectly elfin for an elfin girl like me! (Yes, that's the boy trying it out.)
And here's the perfectly good cause for happiness - as a writer who's usually off to business meetings, I need to carry a personal laptop. Our first (a larger & miserably heavy piece) was gifted to us by a relative. So after a long time of pining for a 'Sony Vaio' (don't ask about the fixation), I was finally able to buy one for me with my 'own' money! It made me very proud of me & I felt like Id been rewarded for all the long hours of work I put in :D I felt blessed to finally be able to 'afford' something on my own!!!
Oh and its pretty white colour comes from my other fixation for the Mac Air. Yip!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 7

2010-02-23T09:29:00.005Z

I love to write. Long before I started writing for a living, I scribbled away in journals...secrets tucked away in the pages, moments I wanted to remember forever, dreams I wish came true...some written neatly in my very best handwriting, others scribbled urgently in quick pencil strokes.I've been maintaining journals since I was a teen, but I began a Prayer Journal late last year.
Just like this blog, it is my 'place' of calm & rest. I picked the notebook up at a store - think the 'Zen Garden' did me in (as did the Asian flavour on the cover!). I add my favourite Bible verses, prayer intentions for loved ones or tough choices, or just simple 'Thank You' notes to the Lord! :)
Happiness is leafing thru' its pages & finding comfort in there.

40 Days of Happiness - Day 6

2010-02-22T08:48:00.004Z

Happiness is strolling thru' the veggie market and coming home with these....

We are on a high-protein diet (doc's advice). So we're being very good about what we're buying, cooking and eating. Something about the freshness of lovely, beautiful vegetables makes me wanna head to my kitchen and cook up something comforting for my boy!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 5

2010-02-21T16:09:00.002Z

Q. What is the perfect way to spike an elfin girl's happiness levels?
A. A big dark cloud and unexpected drizzle on a lazy, sunny Sunday afternoon!

40 Days of Happiness - Day 4

2010-02-20T14:53:00.005Z

Today is Saturday.
For my significantly better half, J, today is a working Saturday. Somehow working and Saturday have never gone together for him in a sentence. Ho hum.

Back to me...
So a working Saturday for my man translates into yet another day of time by myself. 10 hours alone, filled with endless possibilities! While I usually reserve a day such as this for catching up with favourite friends over endless amounts of chai (or coffee, shudder, shudder) or baking or reading...sometimes I want to pass up all of the above for something I love doing best at the end of a long week....napping!

I took a delicious two hour nap this afternoon! Two whole hours!
Of dreaming, of quiet in my head, of resting.
And I woke up to chai.
Double happiness! ;)

40 Days of Happiness - Day 3

2010-02-20T09:35:00.008Z

Yesterday was a super happy day!
The story....
I'm a super tweetfreak. I got started recently. Now Im plugged in non-stop!
One of people I follow is Robin Sharma (yes, of The Monk who sold his Ferrari & The Greatness Guide fame, among other international bestsellers).

I've been drawn to Mr. Sharma's tweets lately, retweeting as many of them as I can. All gentle reminders that dreams are all we have, goals must be focused on, and small steps lead to greatness.So, I tweeted Robin Sharma (!!!!) to say thanks and to let him know how much his wisdom has been helping me get thru' a slightly difficult time. And guess what, ROBIN SHARMA TWEETED ME BACK!!! :D It made me happy on two counts - one, someone I don't know tweeted me (yay), and two, a famous person actually read my tweet (yay)!

Sharing some of my happiness, check out Robin Sharma on twitter!

Keeping with the mood

2010-02-19T07:10:00.000Z

Sometimes, Avril, when things take longer than you thought they would, it's just a gentle reminder from your greater self (me), that you have more time than you thought, and that there's a journey to enjoy.

Yeah, like all the time in the world.

The Universe

PS: Besides, Avril, just because it's taking longer than you thought it would, doesn't mean stuff isn't happening, even as you read these words.

40 Days of Happiness - Day 2

2010-02-18T13:00:00.005Z

Chai.
Pure bliss. My poison. My best friend. My companion on rainy days & warm sunny evenings.Image via leaderscreditunion.wordpress.com

When happy, I drink.
When stressed, I drink.
When mad, I drink some more.
ginger, cardamom, masala....so much joy to be had!
Chai.
My cup runneth over...

40 Days of Happiness

2010-02-17T15:02:00.006Z

Committed to kicking the blahs, I've decided that in addition to other posts, I'm going to write a Happiness Post everyday - a reason to stay grateful, remember why I'm so blessed, and why I have absolutely no reason to doubt that good things are around the corner.

And so to kickstart my Happiness Project, here is my life's biggest dream...NEW YORK CITY!
Summed up perfectly by Frank Sinatra...

Start spreading the news, I’m leaving today
I want to be a part of it - New York, New York
These vagabond shoes, are longing to stray
Right through the very heart of it - New York, New York

Feel free to join me....Id love to hear what's making you happy!

40 Days of Nothing

2010-02-17T12:08:00.004Z

A couple of years ago I tried 30 Days of Nothing, which I discovered via Salt & Chocolate, who in turn discovered the original post here at Owlhaven.

Today is Ash Wednesday.
And every year at Lent, I push myself to leave the frills out and to focus only on the things/people/sitns that matter. I look upwards with gratitude and forwards with hope. But most of all, I pray for the strength to work on bits of me that need a 'systems overhaul'.While staying on my spiritual quest, Im embarking on a 40 Days of Nothing project.
Moratorium especially on shopping and stress!

God is good. All the time.
And especially when times are tough.
Feeling way better.

Clearly I lack WILL POWER

2010-02-15T08:09:00.002Z

After saying Id take a hiatus Im still here, aren't I!
(But this space makes me feel better, so I will stick to writing about what's pushing those happiness levels up.)

Today's 'ah ha' moment...
When in doubt, eat dark chocolate. if nothing happens, down another bar. even if life doesnt get sorted, 'happiness' will kick in! ;)

Listening to His Voice

2010-02-14T06:43:00.002Z

Today is Bible Sunday; I'm hooked on to His Word.

After a tough week & a slightly battered soul, I sat at Mass still unsure of what to say or think. I just sat there waiting for something to happen. Then a lady gave her testimony on how she first encountered His Word and how it changed her. She credited the verse below as the first one she'd ever read in the Bible.
I smiled to my self...the calm in my heart almost saying "just in case you needed the reassurance, here it is..."

Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear. Isaiah 65:24

Dispatch from Haiti

2010-02-12T18:15:00.004Z

Couldn't resist sharing Anderson Cooper's latest post.
I enjoy Anderson's emotional style of journalism. His post made me feel quite ashamed of the 'dirty pain' I've indulging in. But is also made me feel infinitely better.

Emotional update - Im feeling rested. Like the depths of me are breathing again. The head feels light. The heart lighter. Im determined to make 2010 my year, more than any other.

soul searching

2010-02-11T04:12:00.004Z

I was just trawling my own blog only to realise that I've been oscillating between the purples (which means Super Happy) and the blues (or blahs in AvrilSpeak).

I guess I've been in burnout mode for a while, and have been ignoring it thus far.
So in the interest of my readers, I've decided to take a break from the blog, until I feel like I've recovered. This space is my 'Secret Garden' and I want it to be full of happy & exciting posts, so that both, you and I, can enjoy this space.

I dont know how to do fake, so for now, a hiatus should suffice.
Pray for me.
xoxo
EG

Broken

2010-02-10T13:32:00.001Z

I failed.
My faith has failed.
Everything and nothing.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta

2010-02-10T08:24:00.002Z

Have been immensely touched by the work of Dr. Sanjay Gupta in Haiti - as a doctor, as a journalist, and well as a fantastic human being.

Read Dr. Gupta's blog post here on why he headed back to Haiti with the rest of the amazing CNN team.

Snog fest!

2010-02-09T09:57:00.000Z

Just as it's true of kissing, Avril, let your life be measured and thoughtful.

Mwah,
The Universe

PS: Actually, Avril, your entire life is like one very long, very sweet kiss.

2010-02-09T09:56:00.000Z

"Be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to obey his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul."

Joshua 22:5

My CNN Hero

2010-02-09T05:11:00.004Z

Photo by Jonathan Torgovnik
© 2009 Cable News Network. A Time Warner Company. All Rights Reserved

Well, honestly CNN Heroes - given that CNN's excellent coverage of Haiti is possible due to a fantastic team of reporters & crew who work tirelessly to go beyond the 'headlines'.

When the CNN team returned to NYC a week ago, I was disappointed to say the least. It can't all be over this quickly, I thought. How can everyone go home? Surely, things are far from normal. So imagine my glee (yes, that is the only appropriate word) to see tweets from Dr. Sanjay Gupta & Anderson Cooper that said they were heading back to Haiti! YAY! That's exactly what I said in RT to AC :P (Ok so i gushed a little more!)

Here's a link to Anderson Cooper's blog post

I like AC 'outdoors'. I love when he does stories about suffering & the plight of people in need. Maybe I'm drawn to pain...but few do it as well as Andy Cooper does. When I saw him pull that child out of harm's way, in the midst of a looting scene, I sat there before my telly gobsmacked. In the next instant, I looked at my picture frame of Mother Mary & smiled. And I said to her, "Weird as this may seem, I think I love this man. Please bless him!"

I've watched Dr. Gupta reporting and he too has displayed immense amounts of strength & courage, and emotion, which I think makes the whole experience so real. Ditto for Karl Penhaul and Ivan Watson and others...

I'm so touched by the courage of these and other people on the ground - 100s of volunteers, doctors, aid workers - who are giving selflessly to help the victims & the survivors. I pray that the Lord will lead me too, to a life that includes selfless service of others. My mind has tired of living this rat race, pretending that this is it. I want more.

God is on our side! ;)
(Thank You Lord for Anderson Cooper & the rest of the super sexy CNN team :P!)

copy cat

2010-02-08T16:36:00.001Z

If you see copy errors on my posts...and I know where they are :)
they're there b'cos i write like i think...mental rants spill out of my fingers
i write for a living
i blog for my mind
:)

Ditto!

2010-02-08T09:59:00.000Z

Ever have that feeling, Avril, that your life, your true work, has not yet begun?

Ever feel like you're here for something more than you've yet identified? And that a billion eyes are upon you, just waiting for the prophecy to unfold?

Hmmmmmm.......

And, have you also ever wanted something so badly that all your wishing, hoping, and praying kept you from seeing that you had it all along?

Precisely,
The Universe

PS: Yeah, Avril, like times three! Your work has begun. You know exactly what you're doing. And your fans think you're just delish.

Resting

2010-02-04T14:44:00.004Z

I think everyone has their own parameters for what constitutes "rest".
For some, its taking a day off from work/chores/kids/routine. For some, its taking a vacation to an exotic location. For others, it might be merely sneaking in an afternoon nap. A bunch of us will even confess that mundane activities like doing the dishes or folding washed laundry is pure catharsis. (I plead guilty!) Some will settle for simple indulgences like nibbling a cookie or savouring coffee with a best friend.

Today, rest for me is wrapping up work quickly, settling down to scribble in my Prayer & Gratitude Journals :) and staring at Fred Astaire doing his thing in Three Little Words! Strength is creeping back :)

How to zap a 'blah' day?

2010-02-03T09:21:00.003Z

Actually the title's a little misleading...it should've read "How I zap a blah day!"
Nevertheless, let's get started...
- Blog. Here I am! My favourite space!
- Down lotsa chai. I'm on my third for the day.
- Nibble on dark chocolate. Takes a while to kick in, but Im feeling a tad better.
- Drink lots and lots of water. Dehydration causes stress on the brain, which is largely made up of water. (I read that last week in the n'paper!)
- Pray. Listen to my favourite Gospel music. Smile at my favourite image of Mother Mary.
- Work. This really works for me. Since I love what I do (which is write), Im able to get completely lost in the words.
- Tweet Andy Cooper. Oh yea :)

And just in case you're wondering how I got the blues - PMS meets a rather long conversation with an overly-tho'-not-meaning-to-be-emotionally-draining loved one.

I need more chocolate! ;)

Crocheted Hearts!

2010-02-01T06:54:00.006Z

Alright, p'raps it's time to pass up knitting needles & get hooked on to crochet!

(Image from the original post on Little Birdie Secrets)

I found this beautiful project via Little Birdie Secrets and I think I wanna try it today!!!

UPDATE!! (Feb 4th)
This is the easiest thing to do! Will post pix & details soon! Love, EG!

Just when I'd begun to let go a little...

2010-01-28T15:41:00.001Z

Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want. Everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is going to come from, the next smile. The next wish come true. But if you believe that it is right around the corner. And you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it. To the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you're wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart.

~ One Tree Hill

Valentine's Baking

2010-01-27T12:27:00.004Z

After that rather melancholic previous post, I thought it's time to push those happy levels up, up, up!

So here's what Im planning to bake this Valentine's - it's either a Red Velvet Cake

or a Lemon Frosted Lemon Cake.

(Images & recipes from joyofbaking.com)

A Difficult Confession

2010-01-26T14:41:00.006Z

Trust. I find it difficult to trust people. Why? B'cos the people you love & trust the most will let you down. This is not a given, just a frame of reference. And unfortunately, everytime I've tried to believe otherwise, someone closest to me, will betray my confidence.

It disappoints me. It hurts. It hurts worse when this betrayal of confidence unintentionally hurts people who weren't meant to. The end result - a soured equation between the person who has betrayed one's trust, the unfortunate victims, and a feeling of firm distrust that has embedded itself.

Do you ever trust the people who let you down over & over again? You think this time it will be different? This time they'll respect you & your trust in them? When you have a personal conversation with a close friend or relative, do you get that nagging feeling later that p'raps you said too much? Do you shrug it off as a feeling of unwanted paranoia? Or do you think, "Next time, I will shut my mouth"?

Maybe it's my 'character flaw'. Maybe it's a matter of trusting the wrong people. Or maybe it's a matter of knowing what to share.

Lessons in 2010! :)

State of Mind

2010-01-25T18:27:00.000Z

"My mind rebels at stagnation."

~ Sherlock Holmes (the movie)

I HEART COCO!

2010-01-25T18:25:00.001Z

"If you work really hard & you're kind, amazing things will happen."

~ Conan O'Brien, in his farewell as the host of The Tonight Show

This gonna be my year!

2010-01-22T09:21:00.000Z

Avril, it only takes one idea, one second in time, one friend, one dream, one leap of faith, to change everything, forever.

Just one!

Yet eternity lies in the palm of your hand.

Hallelujah,
The Universe

PS : Nice odds, Avril, huh?

What Haiti has made me do...

2010-01-21T06:34:00.006Z

Stop. Just stop thinking about the non-issues of my life.

Realise. That there's more I can do, but I'm not 'cos Im still bonded with the nonsense bits.

Move on. 'Cos stagnant is no longer in life's vocabulary.

Act. That's how the above happens.

Staying strong

2010-01-21T05:58:00.000Z

The LORD is my light and my salvation -- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life -- of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:1

Handmade by elfingoddess

2010-01-18T07:48:00.006Z

And so FINALLY get to the topic of all that knitting that kept me busy pre-Christmas 2009!
Before I go any further, I must say that creating something...anything...is very fulfilling. And creating something for the people one loves, is an immensely gratifying experience.

I knitted 4 muffles/ scarves/ neck warmers. The grey one for my dad, the green-beige one for mom, the red & blue ones for a couple of dear gal pals. The results as below...forgive my not-so-good photos.

No pattern was used as such...I just decided what width was good and used a garter stitch viz. knit all rows. Since 3 of the 4 were self-coloured, I purchased more wool as I went along, depending on the individual length of each scarf.

Added ready beaded edging...

And they were good to go! :)

Heartbeaking Scenes in Haiti

2010-01-16T05:00:00.007Z

For the past few mornings, I've been waking up to my favourite newsman Anderson Cooper doing what he does best...getting at the heart of the story. (I'm so glad to see him out of the studios & on the ground...somehow I think a 'natural' setting suits him well.)

But today was hard to watch. Two things really got me...
First, the story about the orphanage that collapsed partially, and now the orphans have been forced to live outdoors. The 2 American girls that run the orphanage are living in fear b'cos of security reasons; since they have food supplies, other desperate people have been trying to scale the walls. Many of these kids have been adopted by American families...their paperwork has been processed, but their papers & the people who're processing them are "lying under the rubble" as one of the American girls said.

Next, was the really bloody ridiculous report on how the doctors & nurses who'd arrived to treat patients were asked to leave due to security concerns. No clue on who asked them to leave, but UN buses showed up and took them away, leaving CNN's Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, alone to deal with the situation. I admire Dr. Gupta for staying put...the guy looked bewildered at how this could have happened. 25 patients, he said, were at that medical site, many of them with serious injuries, many of them just off the operating table. AC pointed out a simple fact...people who shouldn't die will, b'cos they have won't get the medical care they need on time. "Stupid deaths" Cooper called them.

I will admit...my faith's been stretched a bit this week. These people are the poorest of the poor. They need help. Help came & help left. It's so heartbreaking to watch what's happening.
I saw this report Cooper filed where truckloads of people who have perished were being 'offloaded' into mass graves. Like concrete or rubble. As Cooper put it so well, these are people who've led "good & decent lives". They're just going to "disappear".

I admire the job CNN's team of reporters & crew are doing down there. The Beeb seems to have gone off the air here...I long to watch their coverage.

I continue to pray for Haiti, it's people, I continue to ask for His Mercy & Grace & Strength.

Direction

2010-01-14T08:51:00.001Z

Avril, in case you were wondering what might happen next - how this week will unfold, who you will become tomorrow - it all boils down to one thing...

Expectation.

Yours.

Whoohoo,
The Universe

Now, to be crystal clear, Avril: Expectation that's not followed by action is not expectation... it's just hoping; and hoping has never achieved very much.

(This comes after much mulling over everything & nothing.)

Haiti

2010-01-13T16:48:00.002Z

Praying for the people of Haiti :(
I urge you to pray too that Lord will bless them with strength & courage to pull thru' and that they receive all possible assistance in their search-and-rescue missions.

My favourite newsman, Andy Cooper has headed to Haiti. (I'm so happy when he leaves the studios to do news like this. I find it oddly comforting.)

May the Lord bless us & keep us...
Praying tonight for anyone who needs prayers.
EG out.

A Chai Party

2010-01-12T13:18:00.004Z

How I love my tea! (Properly brewed.)

However, since this is the year to open my mind and soul to all things new, I gave masala tea bags a try. Someone gave me a box, & I thought I should use them for my evening cuppa. 'Cos they're simple & convenient. I'm pleased to reveal that the experience has been quite enjoyable - firstly, 'cos the tea bags were really good :) and secondly, 'cos I dont have to wait so long for my chai to get done ('cos I'm smack in the middle of work & hate running off to the kitchen to watch the chai boil.)

Now, on to the more fun part of this post (for me at least :P). I'm hosting a couple of old friends this weekend and we've decided there will be absolutely nothing better to do this Saturday afternoon than to have a relaxed afternoon sipping on chai and nibbling on chai-time goodies.

I'm still working out the tea party menu (feel free to leave your suggestions), so far I've thought of cucumber mint sandwiches / ham & cheese sandwiches, cake (a light sponge or lemon tea cake), and maybe canapes :) (Will post updates.)

The chai freak in me is ready to give in.

In His Time

2010-01-12T10:48:00.000Z

The BIG THING, Avril, rarely happens when you ask for it, nor does it typically come from who or where you expect. It usually comes a bit later, from someone you didn't even know when you first asked, as a result of some weird turn of events that were impossible to foresee.

So, chill. Be patient. Enjoy the moment. And let your friends, employers, and partners off the hook. Besides, they're going to have enough to deal with when the BIG THING does arrive, if you know what I mean.

Won't be long,
The Universe

PS: Patience is cool, Avril. Really cool.

Avril "Oh yea!"

funky elfin goddess

2010-01-12T04:58:00.002Z

The funk has gone.
The funky is here!

I've stepped out of the 'blue' woods and out into the sunshine, where I intend to play & enjoy myself on the path to where I/we're going.

I have a tea party to plan for saturday :)
And a belated birthday lunch/ dinner for my mom

And a ton of dishes that must be cleaned (I like doing the dishes, I find it comforting.)

Like I said

2010-01-08T08:56:00.000Z

Now, I have to admit that among inventions, the "Undo" button is right up there with the very greatest of all time, but it'll never compare to the "Do" button, from which worlds are born.

Avril, this is your chance!

2010, Baby -
The Universe
PS: Plus, Avril, even while some things can't be undone, you can ALWAYS start anew.

It may have been a horrid week, but this is gonna be MY year.

2010-01-08T06:42:00.004Z

I stole that line from a freind's facebook status and she prolly stole it from someplace else. If you wrote it, thank you. It does a good job of summarising my thoughts/ feelings in 2010.

For starters, I began the year being in a funk. Then two things happened & stole my bliss. Just like that. Either I'm having a really weak moment. Or I'm just having a hard time holding on to my dreams.

Some days I'm just tired. That said I'm determined to make this my year. I want to party, catch up with friends, finally take a baking class & a sewing class, & I want to travel. This feeling of being fettered has got to go. Last night I was told that I may take my vacation alone. Last week, I was told I may not be going anywhere for a while. I'd like to say I'm angry, upset etc. But I'm not. I'm more bothered by this feeling of calm that has settled in. I believe it is the Lord who is by my side saying "Kid, I got your back." Either ways I have a few decisions to make. And a vacation to plan. On my own. Before this month is out, the travel plan will be in place!

2010 is gonna be MY year :)
Thank you Lord.

BIRTHDAYS!

2010-01-07T04:06:00.002Z

Happy 60th Mom! Wish we are all celebrating the day together....but we'll have a great party soon as dad & you get here!

And Happy Birthday to my favouritest 4 year guy....who's turning out to be just so smart & fantastic & cute & funny! I love you my sweet little Koosh Kin!

Funk-y 2010

2010-01-06T05:35:00.005Z

Im in a funk. (Dont know what's gotten into me, but Im blaming it on the post Christmas blues.)

To keep my head above water these past few days, I've been thinking about stuff that makes me happy or that Im grateful for. And honestly, what I'm most grateful for is PEACE. 6 days into the new year,it feels like Uncertainty will be a sure companion thru' 2010. But this strange feeling of peace within makes me believe that here & now is a good place to be in.

It's Koo's 4th birthday tomorrow...and Im certainly grateful for the love of this child!

OUR Christmas Fruit Cake

2010-01-06T05:00:00.004Z

It is time.
To reveal stuff that went down in this household over Christmas.
I give you....
Honey Cinnamon Fruit Cake! I was keen to bake a fruit cake with the recipe from here.

Feedback -
1) Cutting this cake was something else altogether! It kept breaking with each slice, I think this is cos we needed to slice our fruit very fine (we used black raisins, fruit peel, figs, apricots)
2) Baking time of 1 hour was perfect (the recipe calls for 1 1/2 hour).
3) IT IS YUMMMYYYY!

This was a great recipe to do, Ja & me made it together, it was so special :)
Go try it now!

2010!

2010-01-01T14:59:00.004Z

Happy Twenty Ten everyone!

Hope your year is filled with peace, love & hope. I understand many of us have been hit hard this year by the global economic meltdown, which has meant a complete 'life' overhaul.

For me, it has changed my perspective of "stuff" & instead turned my attention inward towards the things that matter most to me. Family, friends, cooking interesting meals for J, baking up a storm, keeping my heart & mind focused on the Lord as He prepares us to take on the life He has planned for us. All of this has helped me realise that stuff from a store is just that. Stuff. But purposefully creating the life I dream of, the life I want to lead, I can accomplish that ONLY with His Grace. I cannot buy a new life. A new haircut maybe, which will make me feel quite sexy for a bit, but I have to become the person whose light shines thru' irrespective of what I look like on the outside.

This year my personal goal is to really do the things I want to, even if they scare me to my very core. I will do it afraid, for I know the Lord will hold & protect me, & strengthen me for what lies ahead.

I wish each one of you a beautiful year ahead. If things have been tough on you in 2009, I pray that you will be released from your difficulties & experience joy. For those of you who have had a great 2009, I pray that you will experience a renewed sense of gratitude & do your bit to pay it forward.

Happy 2010!

Giddy with giggles!

2009-12-16T08:50:00.000Z

Just wanted to remind you, Avril, that sometimes success is better measured in smiles received, giggles heard, and hands held, than in dollars earned, deadlines met, and kilos shed.

And I must say, you've done well for yourself.

Yeah us!
The Universe

PS: By the way, Avril, you're on my vision board this very moment, with your new crazy yet beautiful dreams in order... giggling.

10 DAYS! And an imaginary party.

2009-12-15T13:37:00.006Z

I'm a busy Christmas bee, is what I am!!! The fudge has been walloped by fellow revellers at work. And I am ready to have another go at the fudge making process!

We are hosting a post-Christmas lunch party & I'm excited to say the least!!! I love playing hostess with the mostest! All my event-planning skills & culinary abilities are on display - which cause some amount of panic, but mostly mania! (Like being edgy after drinking a ton of Red Bull, except its not Red Bull & I'm not drinking!)

Someone asked me the other day who I would invite if I had any famous friends. Me? Famous friends? I pondered for a bit, before quickly coming up with this guest list! :P
#First the usual suspects - Anderson Cooper, Nate Berkus
#People who are real & make me laugh - Ellen DeGeneres & Conan O'Brien
# And...Zach Braff, John Legend, Shawn & Gus (Me Psycho!!!).
Clearly there is but one woman on this list. I have few tight gal pals, but clearly I have a gazillion male ones, and I love each of them to bits. All platonic, ahem, you dirty lil reader, you!

I think it's a good party!!! :)

Chocolate Walnut Fudge - The Elfin Goddess Version

2009-12-14T05:41:00.002Z

I've watched my aunt C make walnut fudge, marzipan, and milk cream (or milk toffee or shell cream) over the years, and have helped out on innumerable occasions. I've watched with wonder as she stirs away for 30-40 mins & pours every ounce of patience into creating these magical bits. J & me are huge fans of milk cream & fudge, marzipan not so.

Saturday turned into one such magical, productive day. We got ALL our Christmas shopping done :) and we managed to stand upright long enough to try our hands at Chocolate Walnut Fudge. Without much ado, here is our modified recipe!

WALNUT FUDGE

Ingredients:
One tin sweet condensed milk (400 gms)
Equal quantity of fresh milk (use the tin to measure the milk; we use toned milk)
200 gms. Castor Sugar (I powdered regular granulated sugar)
150 gms. Ground Walnuts (coarse, not too fine)
2 Tablespoons cocoa powder
100 gms unsweetened bitter chocolate, chopped up

Make it:
Cook condensed milk, fresh milk, sugar & cocoa powder on low heat...stir constantly.
When it starts thickening and bubbling, drop in 2 tbspns of butter.
Continue stirring on low heat; the mixture will continue to thicken.
When it starts to leave the sides of the vessel (you're getting closer to the end!), add the walnuts. (This should be about 3-4 mins before you take it off the heat.)
Pour the fudge into well-greased plates/ moulds. If poured into plates, while it’s cooling, cut into little squares. When completely cooled, box!
Indulge yourself in chocolate walnuty madness any time of day.
Warning: Highly addictive!

No pictures for now :(will update later. Go make it now!

Vanilla Vodka

2009-12-11T13:09:00.006Z

OK, so I should have done this post a couple of weeks ago. I should also have made the recipe a month ago. But here we are, so let's hop to it, shall we?!

Again, like most of the recipes I will feature on the blog soon, I stumbled upon this recipe by accident. Being a lucky elfin girl, I had both main ingredients on hand - the vanilla beans and the vodka!

Image from vanillagarlic.com

Now here's the thing, when I first read the recipe I understood this as being a flavoured vodka recipe. But as it turns out this is a vanilla extract recipe. And somewhere further along the way, I learned that it could be used both ways. Versatility. Swell, I say!
Get the recipe here, do the deed, and enjoy the heady flavours of the yummy pods when you course back to check in!

My two bits - This is such a no-brainer of a recipe. If I knew it was this simple, I would have made batches of it ages ago! It might not be ready in time for Christmas, but for a year-long baker (like me!), I think this makes a great gift! I slit 4 vanilla beans and dropped them (& the scrappings) into a 1/2 bottle of Smirnoff vodka. (We're nearly 3 weeks into the infusion process.) Ta-da!

A Note to the Baker

2009-12-10T15:50:00.002Z

The fact that I've found my baking bliss is re-affirmed when I get 'love' Notes like these....

You see, Avril, life isn't supposed to be all "cakewalk" and no "baking."

Especially not for those who like to experiment, take risks, and be surprised.

Please pass the sparklers,
The Universe

PS: Sound like anyone you know, Avril?

A Christmas Fruit Cake

2009-12-09T12:20:00.007Z

Im quite excited!!! This is turning out to be a year for many firsts. Keeping with the spirit, Im attempting my first ever Christmas Fruit Cake project :) I LOVE rum fruit cake - and now is the time to do.

Image from original article on guardian.co.uk

This recipe caught my attention a couple of months ago, and after deliberating over a total of 5 recipes I narrowed it down to this one. Why, you ask? 'Cos it says Cinnamon Honey Fruit Cake, and anyone who knows me well, knows about my long-standing love affair with the pungent sweet spice. (I'm in love...sigh!)

Last Sunday, we chopped figs (J dislikes dates), apricots, fruit peel, and threw in black raisins (only we forgot to de-seed them!). The recipe does not call for pre-soaking of any kind. But keen to experiment, I decided to take the plunge. Into the 600 gms of dry fruit, we added 150 ml of rum (altho' the recipe calls for brandy), and I think its time to add another 100 ml! Plan to bake on 23rd night or 24th morning.

Christmas is in the air.

Advent Calendar

2009-12-02T11:04:00.004Z

I'll admit. I've never had one. So naturally when the delightful Ms. Jones over at How About Orange posted this absolutely must-do craft, I could not resist! And when it said free download....I couldn't resist more! :P

Since I had trouble downloading the file, the good folks at Mibo emailed it to me!!!!
It took me all of 15 mins to do - start to finish! And I must say was immensely creatively satisfying!
Let's countdown....

EG Reloaded

2009-12-02T11:00:00.002Z

A month is a long enough break. I missed my blog!!!! I missed being here, my private world, my public universe.

However, this elfin girl has been up to her ears in work, and given how elfin I am, it got to my ears pretty quick. HOWEVER, other than work, Im ecstatic to share that I finally got myself around to doing what I'd been hoping to.....aiming for a HOMEMADE HANDMADE CHRISTMAS!!!!

I was hoping to give away at least one handmade gift to each of the people on our Christmas pressie list! So far, I've managed to do much! :) So drop by and stick around for a good measure of crafty updates and baking updates :D

It's CHRISTmas! And I'm back!

AC UPDATE!

2009-10-30T08:04:00.004Z

Andy Cooper is in town!
Andy Cooper is in town!

This was turning out to be a slightly stressful week after having yet another major fight with my mother. And then I stumbled on this bit of news! Apparently AC and a friend are vacationing in Jaipur, famous for its beautiful palaces, many of which have been converted into beautiful hotels.

I am sooooo darn excited. October has been by far the BEST month of the year!
November & December, you're in for some tough competition!

Psst: Look at my Thoughts Become Things in 2009 list at right!

RIP Stephen Gately

2009-10-11T07:20:00.004+01:00

If you don't know who Stephen Gately is you probably aren't a Boyzone fan or weren't about 16/17 when they were oh-so-popular. I was. Both.

I've been so damn pleased with the way this pre-birthday week is turning out. Last night, we were out partying at TGIF's with some of J's colleagues. But this morning, I've woken up to the horrid news that Stephen Gately has passed away in his sleep while holidaying in Majorca. How? What? Why? No details have surfaced yet. Boyzone reunited recently after 7 years. And as much as I've grown in my musical tastes, I will always have a soft corner for the boy band that was such a huge part of my teen years! Only just last night while returning from the party, I mentioned to a friend that I was a huge Boyzone fan! Strange.

This autographed pic is something Ja got me when he was trying desperately to get a first date with me. He kept asking me out, I kept turning him down. Background - Ja used to be a Radio Jockey. Steve Gately was in Mumbai to promote his first solo album 'New Beginning' and Ja asked if he would give him an autograph for me. Needless to say, Steve willingly obliged. I love this photo. I have been blessed to work with some of the biggest celebs, but this is the only celeb autograph I have. And it seems like I will love this one forever.

RIP Steve.

Birthday Stencil

2009-10-09T07:07:00.006+01:00

A year ago, I thought Id get myself to working with stencils like here and here.
And I've only just gotten 'round to a stencil painting!!!
I wanted to make J something for his birthday this year (Oct 14th). I know he's a HUGE John Lennon (& The Beatles, and actually all Brit music) fan, so I thought long and hard about what I could get him. Since he's a tee-and-denim ghttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=8791135483635639189uy, I thought a Lennon tee would be apt. Then I revisited that idea, thinking buying a store-bought Lennon tee is so predictable and boring - he could do that himself!
Then finally, in a way I can only think was divinely inspired, it dawned on me. Make a Lennon painting! But how??? I love to colour - but drawing, that talent is not mine to enjoy in this lifetime! :P Next best option - STENCIL! I stumbled upon this project and found the John Lennon Stencil here. This is what the stencil looked like below....you'll also find a WHITE version ie a white background with grey highlights, use the white option to print and cut your stencil.

I chose acrylic paints in two colours- metallic blue for the highlights and metallic black for them background. Here's the pic with the highlights in place. I call this version - Scary Lennon :P

The masterpiece is complete!

an "eventful" week!

2009-10-08T14:58:00.009+01:00

Every year before my birthday rolls by...a week before, to be precise...I document each day in my journal, always looking for signs of what i believe is a glimpse of future. I began this tradition at my 16th birthday and have kept up for most of the years since.

This week is turning out to be quite something else. Tues, I had a film event at work. Today, I had another film event at work. Being Bollywood film events, and given my own experience with them in another lifetime (when I worked in the events industry), I felt a strange sense of deja vu. Events had always been my first love. Which is why I jumped headlong into my first job. I am extremely grateful and feel tremendously blessed when I think of all the work I was fortunate to be a part of. Then I gave it up to do something most girls my age consider taboo- become a home-maker. I still believe I am a home-maker, juggling my home and professional commitments with ease (on most days at least :P). What surprises me is how being a writer has brought me right 'round to something I loved, altho' this time I expce it from the other side.

A year ago to this day, I had no work. I was in between projects. I didnt know where the money would come from. My husband had his one retainer client. Since then, I've been blessed with more work than I can handle (having to cut back on clients sometimes!), been able to get the toplines and bottomlines in place, get pay-hikes (yes, in the middle of a recession), put some savings in the bank....all stuff Id never appreciated before. Im not a "paper chaser", but I think Im old enough to appreciate how hard I work to earn it. I feel a lot more confident 'cos I've finally found something I love to do! Like most people, I love receiving positive feedback on my work (which is imp for me, 'cos Im perpetually oscillating in a state of self-doubt...is it good, is it not, will it be blah blue bleh).

And that brings me to this --> I feel like I can finally take that step forward and reach for my dreams. I dont know how, I dont know when, all I know is that there is a feeling of hope firmly embedded in my heart. And even on a day when the world says it cant be done, something inside of me says "Dont listen to the world, just press on."

WIP

2009-10-07T08:51:00.000+01:00

Tell you what, Avril: If you can get happy right now, in spite of any problems, challenges, and circumstances that now seem to taunt you, I'll take care of those problems, challenges, and circumstances, as well as "ever-after."

Agh-hmm... Please, do the math, take the bait, and never look back.

The Universe

Bread

2009-10-06T15:01:00.002+01:00

I have a new obsession - bread. I love bread. I like eating it. I like looking at it. I love the smell of freshly baked bread. I love the sight of it on my plate, when its all nice and sliced up.

However, I've tired of the white varieties so easily available, and the brown varieties that turn out to be not-so-fresh ('cos folks tend to purchase the cheaper white alternatives). Plus, I figured since my skills in the baking department are more than satisfactory (to J and me at least), I might as well get my act together. And with all the food blogs I've been trawling lately, inspiration it seems, is not in short supply.

So far this is what interests me! And I shall get to them as soon as this weekend dawns on me!